I Keep Forgetting…

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During the day I have this thought that never fails to appear. It’s like I suddenly realize the same thing over and over each day. When I had more time on my hands or when I was depressed I would always spot the signs around me. Each sign that popped up in my life was never left unnoticed. Now that I’ve gotten older and busier I’ve learned how to take care of my life better. Somehow learning how to do that pushed me away from acknowledging these little signs that prepared me for whatever what was coming.

If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about it might be a “psychic” thing or I’m probably just really bad at explaining things.

Anyways, let me tell you my story.

Tonight around 9:30pm I picked up my boyfriend so that we could go to Starbucks. We’ve been studying all day and needed a break. I got him, we went to Wal-Mart and everything was fine. Until we needed to go back home. Then my car decided to ruin my mentality.

If you don’t know by now I really hate driving. I hate cars and I hate driving.

I put the keys in the ignition, turned, and my car went berserk. The alarm starting going off like crazy and my car locked me and my boyfriend inside. I didn’t know what to do either than take the key out, but that didn’t make a difference. My anxiety went through the roof within 30 seconds and I could’ve sworn that I could smell gas.

Eventually, this genius right here unlocked the door manually after I had called my brother and both of my parents. My boyfriend kept calm of course, but I have anxiety issues so it took me another 20 minutes just to try and start the car again.

I was scared to drive it, but my boyfriend calmed me down. Thank you 남자 친구 ^^

My brother told me that it was a common malfunction in my type of car for the hood alarm to go off randomly. Oh yeah, during those 20 minutes that I mentioned earlier my brother Googled what could have been the cause. Thank you brother! ^^ Then later my dad told me that there was too much weight on my car keys so it pushed the key down in the ignition and set the alarm off. It was probably the latter.

Things kind of got worse. As I was driving home I could hear my back tire, where I got hit from my car wreck last summer, thumping as I drove. So of course my anxiety went off the scale… now I have to go to Discount Tires to get my car checked tomorrow

ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY

When I got home I tried to relax. I was straightening my hair and watching Duck Dynasty when I heard the TV pause. This is when I had my revelation that I talked about at the beginning of this post. (the TV paused for like 7 minutes straight wtf)

So let me tell you how these little things that I finally noticed after my wake up call affected each other.

When I realized the noise in my back tire I parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot in a random space. I checked my tire and it seemed okay then as I was getting into my car an older guy came up to me. Let me remind you that this was around midnight. He asked us for some quarters or other spare change so that he could get gas to get to Fort Worth. Naturally being a good person, no not really I just really wanted him to GO AWAY, I unloaded all the change I had in my coinpurse that’s attatched to my keys that was in the ignition.

He said thanks and I told him that I hoped he would get to Fort Worth tonight.

Remember when I told you that my dad said that there was too much weight on the key? I realized when I got home that that stranger that asked for change helped me. He took away a lot of the weight on my keys…

I’m tired but my body is still filled with anxiety so this sucks… I’ll try to go to sleep now. Sorry for the lack of updates, but finals are coming up so don’t expect another anytime soon.

AND YES I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW LEAVE ME ALONE INTERNET CREEPERS.
Did you know that if you view or comment on my blog I can pinpoint where you are, what you look like, and get information on your email address and IP address?
The internet is a wonderful place.

Later Sweethearts,
Cilla

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