thank u, next: The Psychopath

I was looking for the correct word to describe his behavior & this is what I found.

There’s a lot to uncover in this one, but I’ll try to stay concise. I’m already over what happened to me & I try not to dwell on thoughts that annoy me, but I do want to record this moment in my life. So apologies if this sounds rushed & if I don’t put as much detail as I normally do. Also I don’t apologize because this is my fucking blog & I’ll write whatever the fuck I want to.

This relationship started through Bumble (dating app) in 2018. I talked to him for a month & he would drive an hour up to where I live to see me every other day.

Red Flags:

  • He didn’t tell me he had a son until I saw him on his Instagram.
  • He smoked weed EVERYDAY but didn’t tell me & would come see me high. He did it so much that I didn’t notice a difference.
  • He didn’t tell me that he could only see me every other day because he had to take care of his son on off days.
  • He told me he broke his phone on his way to our 1st date, but I’m sure it had been broken for a while & he couldn’t replace it.
  • He told me he was a student. He hadn’t been in college for years & he’s my age.

He was a gentleman & that’s what got me hooked. I never met someone that was as chivalrous & confident as him. He had no hesitation in talking to strangers & was super positive. After a month he asked me to be his girlfriend & I said yes.

Red Flags:

  • Within that month he told me that he lived with his mom to help her buy a house. Found out that he wasn’t helping her with rent & hated living with her (& his siblings), but didn’t have any plans to move out.
  • He would tell me he would do things like get a passport & NEVER follow through.
  • He would work overtime a lot but always had to take money out of his savings account (he got paid fairly well too). Found out it was because he kept buying so much weed every week. He really smoked CONSTANTLY. I don’t have a problem with people that smoke but if you rely on it to function then that’s a huge problem.
  • He set me up to where I would think about things that don’t matter. For example, he wanted us to share our locations on our phones when we started dating. I was against it, but he made it seem like it was in case of emergencies. Later when we broke up he stopped sharing his location first & that affected me in a way that I didn’t need it to.

We only dated for about 3 months. Before we started dating I asked him how long his relationships lasted & he told me the last 3 were 2 months long each because they always went back to their exes. RED FLAG, but I was dumb & believed that he was the one that got played.

Before those, he had a long relationship in high school & that’s when he had his kid. He would talk shit or avoid the conversation when it came to the child’s mother in the beginning of the relationship. I would later notice that he would speak kindly of her as if he missed her & when he recounted his story about their relationship he said that he really tried to get her back when they broke up briefly in high school wtf.

So I dated him for a while & he would stay over every other day. It was good for a while then close to my tonsil surgery (in September) he started being distant. He also set me up for an emotional crash early on in the relationship by calling me 3-5 times a day. When he started doing that less of course I noticed & felt bad.

I also want to mention that this guy TOOK ME TO MEET HIS FAMILY within the 2 months that we dated & told them all that I was “the one.” His mother fucking almost cried when she met me because she was so happy that her son found someone. Looking back, she probably cried because he brings girls to meet his family so often that she was an emotional wreck by this point. His poor family has to put up with so much shit from this guy.

Oh and also towards the end of the relationship he was posting photo of his pants unzipped at night on snapchat ๐Ÿ™„ย way to respect me ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„ย & he didn’t take it down until I called him TWICE to take it down ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

The day before my surgery I asked him for confirmation if he would be able to take me TO MY FIRST SURGERY EVERY & he said yeah maybe.

I literally had to cry on the phone to convince him to take me because I had no one else planned. So he took me but was irate about it. After my surgery I was having a panic attack & threw up constantly from the anesthesia. He drove me home in my car & basically ran out of my room without asking me if I needed anything. I had to ask him to get me ice & food because I would be on the 2nd floor (kitchen is 2 floors down) all day by myself & he basically tried to get out of there as soon as he could.

After that I didn’t see him again. He started ignoring me and took his location off because he was in San Jose while I was recovering but wasn’t there to see me. I called him one day while he was at work & he usually steps aside to talk to me. This time every time I asked him what was going on he would make a noise with a machine when he “tried to answer” me. It was super childish.

Oh & of course, in true fuckboi fashion, he would text me that he missed me randomly ๐Ÿ™„

I started ignoring him because he asked for space. During the month of us not talking to each other he had the audacity to get mad at me for “ignoring” him & asked for his clothes back. So I donated them.

I don’t even care to blur out the name tbh

img_0050

In true high school acting fuckboi fashion he would look at my instagram stories everyday, but not reach out to talk to me.

This relationship was the first after my 2 year relationship ended. So I had been single for ~3 years until this absolute piece of trash came into my life. I think my naive mindset also set me up for failure. I was so set that men were trash & when this one came in all confident & open minded I thought that I had found a rare man. Turns out all men are still trash.

I’m not going to lie, I learned a lot. I learned to not jump into relationships & that a “spark” or soulmates don’t exist. I hate how the media portrays relationships as something magical that’s supposed to happen with 1 person in your life. It just puts pressure on yourself & the relationship to not mess it up if that’s all life has to offer you. I’m bad at putting this into words, but basically I learned:

  1. To not jump into relationships.
  2. I can love anyone & I will love a lot in my life.
  3. Be cautious about guys that act like gentlemen too much.
  4. Be cautious about guys that make huge promises too quickly or just huge promises.
  5. Practice discretion when guys set you up with things to track your activity (location sharing, social media, etc.)
  6. Fuckbois come in many disguises.

& here’s the last thing he sent me because I don’t give a fuck about outing him:

 

Oh & he HID his old dirty socks around my house so that I would find them later when I was cleaning.

Later Sweethearts,
Cilla

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s